The Elusive Orgasm
Orgasms are very tricky things and a lot of ink has been spilled writing about them and a lot of heartache has occurred in worrying about them too much or not enough.
I am not an expert on sex by any means. There are plenty of others out there who are more experienced than I am in nearly every way. This is only meant to entertain and maybe help you.
I had my first orgasm when I was 16 on accident. How’s that for an attention grabber? I grew up in a very conservative home and we didn’t talk about sex at all. I had the “talk” from my mom in the sixth grade and then again when I had my first period when I turned 14. I was the girl who had boobs in the sixth grade. Like, not little teenie boobs but bewbs. So by the time I was 14 they were a focal point and the bane of every boy in my ward and school’s existence. But other than the blatant ogling I received from boy and man alike, I had no other sexual contact.
I’ve always been a voracious reader. I read Anne of Green Gables and the Chronicles of Narnia until the covers fell off. My favorite was locking my door and lying on my bed and reading until all hours of the night. I slept in large t-shirts my dad no longer wanted, mostly Utah Jazz shirts and I never wore underwear to bed or a bra. Seriously? Who does that? 🙂 I was reading one night and just absent-mindedly running my hand over myself. I’d run my fingers through my soft pubic hair and basically just all over. I didn’t think I was masturbating. I wasn’t consciously doing it.
In the middle of Watership Down, I felt a tingling surge between my legs. It felt so amazingly good, but I was shocked by what happened. I honestly wasn’t paying attention. I reached down there and was shocked to find my vagina area soaking wet with a clear slippery liquid. I thought I peed myself, even though it didn’t feel or smell like pee. To borrow a line from Elf, my vagina had a heartbeat. I was euphoric and guilty at the same time. I knew that something sexual had happened but I didn’t know what.
Welcome to Anatomy Park!
I found out later on that this is actually quite common. Women can “zone out” and have an orgasm without actually doing anything else sexual. I was stroking myself without paying any attention to it. For women who struggle with orgasms, this is a great way to get the ball rolling as it were. Your mental state has a lot to say about what goes on “down there” and you can often overthink it.
This led me to explore my anatomy. I had a full-length mirror in my room and I’d sit naked on the floor in front of it with my legs spread wide open. I discovered all my anatomy parts this way, even though I may not have known the words. I learned them later from books. But that tiny pearl thing that stood up when I got excited? Clitoris. Boom! Guys, take note! I even slid my fingers inside and found out all that stuff in there too, but I won’t bore you with those details. But I did find out I liked having my fingers inside me. Two were better than one. Three was all I could manage at the time.
I brought myself to orgasm on purpose many times, but I never called it masturbation. It was exploration and all I knew was that I liked it. I could even do it by just touching my nipples. And yes, I could suck on my own nipples and that was great too. Phew! I’m fanning myself just now thinking about it!
So, if you’re having difficulty with orgasm, explore! Be curious! Discover what works best for you and learn your own unique anatomy. Guys explore their parts from the time they can touch it and it’s pretty basic stuff, to be honest. Us ladies are the advanced models with all the options and unfortunately, we don’t have an owner’s manual.
I served a mission in a Central American country in a capital city that shared the same name as the country. There is a subway system known as the STC. It’s quite nice actually but would often get very crowded and bumpy. My companion and I were squished in a corner during rush hour and there was nowhere to move. I literally couldn’t move my arms. As the metro car bumped and moved down the track the vibration of the train got me going and I experienced my first multiple orgasms. I must have had 4 or 5 in a row before we exited the train. Dudes, you’re missing out! I even left an embarrassing wet spot on the back of my gray skirt.
My companion who was a native of the country laughed as we got off the train. She said, “I knew what was going on back there!” I denied it and blushed. She said it happens to her all the time. “Consider it a benefit of the STC!” From that time forward, we always laughed at each other when we had to take the metro. Which we did more often than we needed.
I explore this phenomenon in my upcoming short story “The Dancer.” I’m going to release a snippet of that in my next post. Don’t forget to check out my other stories here and here. Until then, have a horny day!